I don’t know about you, but most of the time I open the door to my 10 year old daughter’s room, shudder, close my eyes, shut the door again and slowly back away, muttering something under my breath about rats and hoarders.
Last week, however, I was in the spring cleaning mood and somehow got up the gumption to tackle the Mount Everest of messy rooms.
Now I knew she had a thing for bags, purses, clutches and the like, but I didn’t realize that it had progressed to the level it had. Once I had everything pulled out from under the bed, on top of the dresser, from in corners and deep in the closet, I looked at it all and realized…my daughter is a bag lady.
She seems to have what amounts to 765384959 purses of various sizes, styles, colours and descriptions. I have ZERO CLUE where most of these bags have come from. Maybe they’re like Star Trek tribbles and self replicate. Maybe she has a membership to the Little Crappy Plastic Purse of the Month Club. I just don’t know.
So I’m looking at this enormous, inexplicable pile of purses in the centre of the room and I realize – each and every one of them is jam packed. It becomes horrifyingly clear. Not only is my 10 year old addicted to bags, but she is also a hoarder.
I approach the pile with intense trepidation. I’m positive I am going to open these bags and find a lunch banana, circa 2012. Amazingly, bag mountain does not appear to smell. I get braver. I grab a cute little clutch and open it carefully…and discover hidden treasure!
These purses are filled with miscellaneous crap, some of which I have been looking for for YEARS. Oh there’s that lipstick! OMG, my mailbox key! So THAT’S where the tv remote went! And on..and on…
Amongst the loot bag toys, candy wrappers, crumpled birthday invitations, hair ties and empty water balloons, I had hit the jackpot. I was so pleased with having my favourite corkscrew back, I didn’t even yell at my kid when she got home.
By the way, anyone need any purses?
Hive of Five 